Master networker’s guide to self esteem and confidence building

You’ve read the articles, the books, listened to the CDs, attended courses- but still that niggling self doubt creeps in whenever you walk into a room full of strangers. Maybe you have all the networking tips you need, you just have to think about YOU and believing in you a little more than you already do.

Here are some tips that might assist you on your confidence building path.

* Have a dream and believe in your dream. Networking can open any door in the world for you – you just need to know which door you want to walk through.

*  Commit to a daily 5 minute healthy habit to boost self esteem and confidence, where you ask yourself :

– What was my win – what did i do well today – no matter how small an achievement it was?

– What was my oops – what mistake did i make, what did i learn from making the error and can i be sure I won’t repeat that mistake? Sometimes you can’t be absolutely sure it won’t happen again – but maybe you will just be more aware when similiar circumstances present themselves.

– Who did I empower?  Was there someone whose path I crossed physically, electronically or over the phone today – who felt a lift after the connection? Did you complement someone, encourage someone to stretch their comfort zone and assuring them they will be fine? Did you give someone recognition for a job well done? Did you encourage a child to have a go? Everytime you see someone’s name on a name badge, use it – watch how their face lights up. Empowering others is easy when that is your intention.

-Who did I allow to disempower me? Maybe you have a person in your life who bugs you – and you constantly give your power away everytime you connect with them – by giving them so much focus or attention. Sometimes this is a work mate or family member – so you run into them often. Rather than giving your power away continually, why not try changing the way you respond to that person’s action. Next time observing the action or hearing the smart comment, you might choose to respond – “that’s interesting” or “you might be right” – neither comments are agreeing with the person – but either comments will shut down the conversation – without you losing your power. Many times you will find YOU are the person who is disempowering you continually. Our self talk is often the single thing that undermines our self worth e.g. I can’t go to that networking event, I don’t know anyone. I can’t talk to that stranger, what will I say. There is XYZ, we met at Sue’s birthday party – I am sure they won’t remember me, so I won’t embarass myself by even talking to them etc…

The more we value ourselves, the higher value others place on us.

* Create a personal success log – record your daily wins.

* Complete a personal skills analysis. List 100 things you are good at. Add to this list continually. Include all sorts of things you are great at – cooking lasagne, remembering phone numbers, writing reports, playing with your nephews, listening to your mum tell her stories over and over – all you need is 100 things to get you started. Be warned depending how you are feeling about yourself today, this might take more than a few days to compile. And that’s just fine – the longer it takes, the more you will be focussing on the positive you – and it’s about time you did that! 

 * Create a gratitude attitude – I first heard this expression on the Oprah show. Be grateful for everything – even the yukky experiences – because you learn from all of them. Recently I was at an airport talking to a friend, who was moaning about the blisters on her feet, from her new shoes….moan, moan, moan. A person came through the terminal on crutches and on closer inspection – had had one leg removed from the knee down.  I drew my friend’s attention to this person and made the comment – “That person would love to have your problem blisters – be grateful that you have the money to buy the shoes in the first place.” Have’t heard from that person for awhile. What i have found is that sometimes people just love to moan about life in general and they will always find something to moan about. However, if your self esteem is low, you can very easily get caught up in the pity party. 

* Understand the power of affirmations. Identify the significance of slight language changes for maximum results. Remove. ‘But, I have to…’  and replace with “I choose to”…..

* Choose to move from the wish list to the master plan – what would you do if you knew that you could not fail? Stop imagining what you can’t do, and think about what you would like to do. Energy follow thought – what you think about is what you create in your life.

Networking events are often filled with people worried that they are wearing the wrong clothes, have the wrong business cards, said something silly to that last person they spoke to, they forgot the person’s name and they only just told it to me – how stupid am I etc. etc. Basically more than 50% of the room are worrying about worry.

My recommendation for the next networking event you attend is to have one goal only – HAVE FUN! If you do make a mistake, laugh at it. Act like the host, not the guest. Enjoy yourself –  and believe it or not, people will be attracted to you not because of what you are wearing or saying – but because you are letting the real YOU shine through. Just be yourself. Take all the pressure you normally put on yourself, off – breathe, be friendly, smile and most of all –


 To those who believe – anything is possible.

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