Posts Tagged ‘networking opportunities’

3 ice breaker ideas when strangers meet at social events

December 2, 2012

Picture this – you are hosting a social event/party with more than fifty people attending. You know everyone on the list – they are drawn from all sectors of your life. However, many of these people will know no one. Many of them are attending by themselves – and you being a master networker want to be one step ahead of the networking game. You know that you have done as much as you can to ensure the food, drink, entertainment, location are all first class. But how do you ensure that the experience for everyone is memorable, fun and enjoyable.

NAME TAGS – going one step further
In addition to the person’s name, why not put a tag line with a humourous and accurate note. e.g. John Smith – born in Tasmania. Mary James – mad Rugby fan. Dave Jones – loves the Swans. Bronwen Jamison – new to Sydney.

Obviously care must be taken with the tag lines – but what you are creating is an ice breaker. Something that will enable one stranger to talk to another stranger without feeling awkward.

PLAYING CARDS – finding a pair
Remember the Mission Impossible line – “Your task if you choose to complete it is to” find your other card half. If there are more than 100 people in attendance, then maybe it will be enough just to match your half king card with another half king. If there are less than 50 people, you will have to find the exact match – a half king of diamonds, finds another half king of diamonds. To incentivise the activity you may include some lucky door prizes for the first three couples who match their playing cards. Logistically if you give everyone a name tag and click the half playing card to the back of the name tag and have a couple of very clearly worded signs explaining what people have to do – you will certainly have people mingling and mixing quickly and enthusiastically.

CARD MATCH – matching heads and tails.
This system requires you to purchase some inexpensive packs of colourful christmas cards – the more designs the better. Step two is to cut the christmas cards in half horizontally, and shuffle the cards so that no two matching cards are together. Then as guests collect their name tags, give everyone half a christmas card. Again very clear signage explains how the cards are to be matched and examples of complete cards could be placed on the explanation board.

Why go to so much trouble? These three ideas will take time, effort and energy. However, your return on effort will be that your guests will have a fun time, they will have reasons to engage with total strangers without feeling awkward and there will be an instant buzz in the air.

Don’t be surprised when people leave the event, that they compliment you on the effort you went to and enthusiastically thank you for your invitation.

One thing I know for sure, whether your guests stay at your event for one, two, three hours or more, you can never give them that time back. They have given it to you. So the least you can do is everything in your control to make it a great event.

Enjoy 2013 and make the most of every networking opportunity that comes your way.

It’s a small world after all!

November 4, 2012

Six degrees of separation is finished!

Long live two degrees of separation – in today’s global market place. Let me share an amazing story with you. Last week I presented to the team at Mondo Direct, a leading recruitment firm in North Sydney. When I arrived, the CEO, Simone Allan mentioned that she had run into someone I knew last week – Alban – also in recruitment. I mentioned that I had a LinkedIn message from Alban the day before.

Apparently, Simone and Alban were both attending a conference in Shanghai and happened to be in a hotel lift together and started to chat –  as you do….. The topic of networking was mentioned and Alban (who is based in Singapore) said that he had learned a  lot about networking from Robyn Henderson, a woman who presented a few years ago to the recruitment company he was working with at that time in Sydney.

Simone’s response – “I know Robyn, she is speaking to our team next Tuesday in Sydney.” Can you believe that? What are the chances of a conversation in Shanghai between two people who knew me (and I worked out I was in Tweed Heads at that time) – chatting about something I was doing in North Sydney.

Tweed Heads – Shanghai – Singapore – North Sydney – true networking in our global marketplace

Closer to home, I regularly watch the sunrise on my morning walks and hopefully see a whale or two, though the season is almost over, so the whales are few and far between this week. Point Danger is a beautiful headland between Snapper Rocks and Duranbah Beach and has a great view of the horizon and is a fantastic whale spotting location. Yesterday I was walking past Point Danger and stopped to chat to a photographer I had spoken to a couple of times previously. Whales were few and far between and he mentioned that he puts his photos on flickr – and had taken some great cloud photos that morning.

We chatted away as you do on an early Sunday morning and I said I would check out his photos which I did later that day. They were excellent and as an amateur photographer, I thought I must look at some of his earlier shots and see if they were always as good as they are now. So I randomly flicked back through his photo library and there were many brilliant nature images.  Then I saw a photo of my Kingscliff hairdresser, who had told me ages ago about a  trek he did through Tasmania and Cradle Mountain. Amazingly,  Larry the photographer and Trevor the hairdresser were on the same Tasmanian trek.

Those two degrees of separation are at it again.

In my networking presentations I often say that no one wears a sign dangling from their ears or their wrist with a list of all the people that they know. If they did, you could then know before you even start a conversation, the reason for connecting with them.

The randomness of networking is what really makes networking exciting. Two strangers meet, share a general conversation and then indirectly find they have mutual connections, shared interests or knowledge. Trust is built through communication and when there is a third party connection and sometimes almost an endorsement of that person, you are inclined to trust them that much more.

Bill Gates  calls this the trilogy of trust, the trust that one person has in another that is passed on to a third party. We certainly do live in a very small world.

Chances conversations not only expand your network but also make you realise how small the world really is today. Can I encourage you to speak to at least one total stranger every day? You will be surprised who you meet.  And always remember that every best was once a perfect stranger.

Happpy networking until next time.

How long since you asked someone for help?

September 24, 2012

It’s OK to Ask for Help

One of the biggest mistakes people make when they are trying to grow their business or their career, is to avoid at all costs asking for help. So if asking for help is the most obvious way to solve a problem, why do many people resist to the point of failing themselves, rather than take that perceived gigantic step?

Would fear possibly contribute to their dilemma?

* Fear of being indebted to someone

* Fear of looking or sounding stupid by not knowing how to do something in the first place

* Frustration that although they consider themselves to be a smart, intelligent person – how come they can’t do something as apparently easy as master computer technology, program a DVD recorder, change a toner cartridge without tearing their hair out.

Asking for help is the answer to most questions.

As Harvey Mackey says, “it’s not what you know, but who knows what you know.” Master networkers spend a lifetime gathering useless pieces of trivia and information. They store them  away, sometimes in a recorded format (if they are really organised). More often than not, it is in their head. Their mastery comes in being able to connect two or three seemingly obscure pieces of information and making them relevant. We are in a knowledge economy – information is the new currency.

I recently met a trade delegation of women from Singapore. Being very conscious of their financial outlay in coming to Australia, I wanted to be sure that they “got their money’s worth” so to speak. As I befriended the women, I asked the specific question, “When you return to Singapore, what is one thing you really hope you will have achieved from your visit to Australia?” Armed with these answers, I was then able to connect them with relevant people within Australia, who definitely had the answers for them. Some even may be in a situation where they could form a strategic alliance or put them in touch with another person who could. Master networkers always treat people the way they would like to be treated.

Let’s look at some of the asking for help options available to savvy networkers:

Fee for service:

This is by far the most popular – engage a tradesperson, service provider or professional who will normally quote for the job or service to be provided and charge accordingly. Yes, we will pay more for this service, but the job will be done exactly as we want it to be done. This is more often than not the most time efficient and, in the long run, economical way to ask for help.

Undertaking training:

Most skills can be learned and there are hundreds of courses available at TAFEs, evening colleges, BECs, universities, schools etc. The choice is really – what value do we place on our time spent in mastering the skill versus the cost of paying someone to do the job for us?

A friend recently bemoaned the fact that she was having terrible trouble mastering web site building. I asked, “Why wouldn’t you go to a recommended web master and get the job done in a quarter of the time?” Her response was that she wanted to learn how it was done – even though she knew it would be a one off and she had no intention of embarking on a web site building career. Each to his or her own – my thought was her time could have been spent better elsewhere, rather than mastering a one off skill.

 Barter services:

What skills in your area of expertise, do you have to trade with another service provider, who has the skills that you want? One hour of your time giving some marketing advice, may be considered a fair swap for someone who can give you a lesson in mastering specific technology.

Bartering always works when it is win/win – that means when both parties gain from the experience. This gain may not necessarily be financial, but the experience of learning and mastering another skill and the opportunity to extend your network.


With the global trend towards people wanting to give back to the community, there is no shortage of people looking for groups that they can become involved with. Maybe gardening or renovating houses is something you are keen to learn about. Seek out those charities which provide working bees at restoring homes or looking after pensioners’ premises. This is definitely a win/win for you, as you are doing something good for the community and learning at the same time.

 Find a mentor:

Sometimes we are so busy working in our business and career, that we lose sight of the bigger picture. Finding a mentor for a short or long term role, can give you a very fresh perspective on your situation. Often a mentor has the ability to give you a hand up, so to speak, in connecting you with key players who can open doors for you. Try asking the specific question, “I am looking for a mentor who can assist me with my time management skills. Who would you suggest I seek out for this role?”

Over twenty years ago when I started my own business, I re-invented the wheel month after month, rather than ask people to show me a better way to do things. Not only did I waste time, money and energy, my business was stifled because of my fear of looking stupid by admitting I didn’t know something that I thought everyone knew – except me. It was only when I developed enough courage to mention some of the things I needed help with, that I found there were dozens of people in similar situations. We all needed help and we could help each other.

So the next time you feel stuck, not skilled enough to complete a task, and frustrated at your perceived incompetence – be courageous. Speak up, ask for help and become a role model for so many people, too afraid to ask for what they want.

Always remember it’s okay to ask for help.

Happy networking until next time.


FORENSIC NETWORKING – a skill for serious networking

February 9, 2012

With over twenty years experience within the speaking industry, I found over time that not only did audience size increase, but also the size of the organizations I was working with. I put this down to a number of things – my reputation was increasing as I wrote articles and features for industry magazines and spoke at large association events, the need for networking became increasingly more important not only for business development people, but also for organizations in general, staff had great technical skills, but very little experience with the soft skills like networking and the word networking was showing up in the media more often. And it was becoming something that people knew they needed to know more about.

Then I started to realise that breaking into large organizations (whether that was defined by turnover or number of employees specific to industry) really needed to be quite strategic and very professional. And the more touch points or connection points within an organization, the more chance you had of getting a positive approach from the decision maker. Large organizations are made up of multiple pockets of influence and the cross networking opportunities abound, once you get in there – but how to do that is often the dilemma.

I first heard the expression Forensic Networking from a very successful senior partner of an international accounting firm. Forensic networking was something the firm did prior to meeting with potential clients and included accessing public domain information about the potential client/s, their personal interests, their networks – looking for potential touch points, within their already substantial client base, who could potentially be an advocate for their firm.


And I realised that many people do this, but not usually in a systematic or strategic way. As a consequence, the results can be very inconsistent. We know that maintaining networks and connections is greatly assisted with systems, so I have come up with a model to assist with your forensic networking activity. Be warned this does require effort, energy and time. Some of the information can be more easily accessed that others. Yet the greater the effort, the greater the result. I believe that you really get one shot at a potential client – one chance to really prove your worth or value to that organization. And if you blow that opportunity when you meet with the decision maker/s – it may take a long, long time before they give you a second chance. So the more touch points, the more chances of a favourable outcome.

Quick story, I once met with a financial client, who had booked me to do a Networking for Bankers full day program. Our meeting, in my mind, was to serve as a briefing for the program outcomes. In the client’s mind, it was a very different outcome. (Names and locations have been changed to protect privacy). Our conversation went something like:

“Hi Robyn, glad you could stop by this afternoon, don’t sit down, this won’t take long.” (Here was me thinking I would be there for at least an hour, and it seemed like 3 minutes was more on the cards here)

“We are looking forward to your Networking For Bankers program next week – Sue Smith from Newcastle, John James from Warrnambool and Fred from HR saw you speak at the national institute conference and said you were pretty good and we would gain from getting you in. I am on a board with Sue and John, they don’t work for the bank as you know, but I trust their opinion. Robyn, I want to be straight with you, we have potentially 600 business development staff that you could train nationally, if next weeks session, goes well, we will work out a stack of dates with you for the next few months and get everyone trained up. If next week is a dud and I have to warn you I have put some really tough cookies in your group – but I figure if you can win them over and they come away raving fans, then you are worth your high fee. If you don’t win them over, well, you might wait a long time to get paid. Thanks for coming in Robyn, see Sue on the way out and confirm your logistical stuff.”

How pressured do you think I was feeling! The good news, the session went well, I did win over the tough cookies and went on to train the 600 staff. In hindsight, I had the trust of three people, whom the decision maker trusted – without that; I would not have been booked. And at the time I met those people, who coincidentally worked for much smaller organizations, none of them were wearing signs saying be really nice to me, I will introduce you to a potentially large client for you.


There are two parts to forensic networking, the first involves your potential client, and the second involves you and your commitment to securing that client.


Consists of a list of questions about your client’s organizations, networks, potential touch points/connectors – much is public domain information and some will be almost like piecing together a jigsaw puzzle. At first it’s just a jumble of information and as you continue to work on it, the pattern and images become clearer.


From their website, you should be able to obtain lots of information about their executive team, their products and services. Study all this information and highlight the most relevant pieces and prepare your own organisational summary. Allocate a two-ring binder filled with plastic sleeve and dividers and start your forensic activity. Use the file to store the WebPages information as well as your summary and key points.

Keep copies of any further information from newspapers, magazines, financial pages etc. – you are virtually building a dossier on this organization.


Inner circles can be formed through multiple connections, their children’s friends and families, old school or university contacts, previously worked together in other organizations, cities or sometimes countries (ex-pats have very strong ties), special interests groups – the arts, sports, environmental groups, politics etc. The list is truly endless – and the point for going to all this effort is to make check if some of their inner circle members are already in your inner circle or your current or past client base. Which leads to the next point:


Once identified, you can then make contact with your network and ask the question, “I wonder if you can help me, we are wanting to work with XYZ and it appears John Smith is the key player there. I understand you know John quite well and was wondering what advice you could give me about the best way to approach him.” Of course they have the right to decline politely, but more often than not, they will recommend that you attend somewhere where that prospect is going to be. Maybe there is a community event or charity that they support and you could attend an event or book a table to support this project, maybe you would be invited to share a box at a sporting event.

Now here is where the strategic part comes in – if you have no interest at all in that sport, and you work with someone who does have a passion for the sport or the team – suggest that you arrange a meeting with your co-worker and your contact, so that a connection is made there and then ask (very politely) if its possible that both you and the co-workers attend that sporting event.  Your request may be declined, however now you have another piece in the jigsaw. And you may find that your co-worker is in fact the person who can potentially be one of your touch points for XYZ organization.

If your contact generously invites both of you – do your homework. You can’t fake passion or interest in a sport or activity you are not interested in. Yet combined your co-worker has the passion and you have the interest. Your co-worker can give you heads up about the key rules prior to the game and then its up to you to get involved on the day. I often think of one of my favourite films, In Pursuit of Happyness with Will Smith and how he missed out on a major account through attending a ball game, but made great contacts anyway. In the film the potential XYZ identified himself as a non-prospect, but he liked Will anyway, and connected him with his mates.


Sponsorships, awards they support or have won, alliances that have in the industry, charities they support, and corporate social responsibility initiatives they may be part of.

Your folder should be bulging with clippings and pieces of important information as your collect this data. Also don’t forget your internal network – asking the question at a group meeting – does anyone know JA and BB, decision makers at XYZ or do you know anyone who works at XYZ. and other search engines can also be a great help here – again you are collecting key pieces of information. Remember you may only get one shot at this potential client; you want to make sure you are prepared for that meeting.


You need to know the name of your competitor, how long they have been servicing XYZ, the products and services they provide. What is different about your product/service? Be honest, is there product better than yours? And if so, what can you offer XYZ that your competitor cannot? Are they under contract or tender, when does the tender expire? All this information is placed in your folder (manual or electronic) as you build a case to gain that large client.

 5. THINK  LIKE THE CLIENT, NOT LIKE THE POTENTIAL SERVICE PROVIDER. If you were XYZ,      what would make you consider changing service providers? Price is often      not the sole determining factor for supplier decisions. Think more      strategically about what you have to offer.


The law of reciprocity states that what you give out comes back ten-fold. So if there is a way that you can refer business to XYZ, prior to you approaching them re. business – then you are standing out from your competitors as trying to assist them to grow their business, not just expecting them to grow yours. Forensic networkers are creative thinkers.


How well do you know them? Can you arrange a phone meeting or catch up with them to ask for help. “We are wanting to supply XYZ, if you were me what would you do?” Similar to point 3, you may again find out key information to assist with your strategic targeting.


If you don’t know, ask the question. Referrals are often so close to the surface of organizations, you just have to do your research. If you have an advocate who is already supplying XYZ, what a great link for you – and the advocate already knows how good you are, and can certainly give you a testimonial, possibly an invitation to an event where XYZ will be or an introduction at an appropriate time.


Make a list of names – and grade them A, B or C contact – with A as the highest contact –know them well, have their number in your mobile, connect once a month with them. Then if you ask your internal network, who knows anyone at XYZ, and go through the same ABC process, you may find you have a lot of overlap with connections. And if you ask the second question, how do you know them, you gain a lot more information to add to your original profile.

Using flipcharts or mind maps is a great way to visually display these connections – I often think of a detective’s white board when you place all these names and connections in the one spot. Your jigsaw is really taking shape. If you don’t know anyone at all, make a list of the positions that key people may hold and find out who they are – if you drill down, you may find you do have connections. It is no longer six degrees of separation, more like two degrees of separation these days.


The bigger the client, the more effort is required to secure that client. You might get really lucky e.g you are a bank, and they have a particularly bad bank day – and you just happen to offer to sort out their problem. More likely though, little things keep building and building with a disgruntled supplier until one little thing can tip the edge and you can jump in as their next supplier.


Part two is all about YOU and I encourage you to ask yourself these questions?

1. Why  do you want to become a service provider to this organization (XYZ)?

Is this a short or long term prospect? Is there prestige attached to being a service provider? Is it all about bonuses, targets and sales? Do you want to genuinely assist XYZ with your product? When the going gets tough and you seem to be taking one step forward and three steps back, you really need to be clear on the WHY?



There is a finite number of hours in the week and we assume you will have other work to do as well as study XYZ – so you need to be clear on your time commitment and get mutual agreement from your peers with this time allocation. e.g.  XYZ’s decision maker may be a keen yachtsmen, as are you. And Wednesday afternoon twilight sessions are when XYZ sails with his peers and then back to the clubhouse for drinks. If you think sailing on Wednesday afternoons is a strategic networking opportunity, be sure to get agreement from your peers or they may become very resentful. Even keeping abreast of the daily news may take up to 30 minutes a day, where can you find that time – or will it be stolen minutes here and there throughout the day?


Be clear on time frame, possible resources, other staff involved – without an action plan it will be very easy to give up and drown in a sea of newspaper clippings and paper.


Create a list of names and contact details. When you do make the approach to them, be very clear how much time you are asking them to commit? Phone time/ text messaging/emails may be a convenient use of time. Maybe you just need the okay to run your progress past them from time to time. And of course, you must respect their choice if they decline your invitation. It is far better for them to decline than to agree and then be a no-show at the bulk of your meetings.


Maybe you can squeeze this project into your current day – but be warned forensic networking can suck up a lot of time, particularly in the early stages, when you are collecting the most information. One of the keys is deciding if you can combine your networking with your interests – eg. Sailing, running, gym, special interests.  If you can, you will find that you are a lot more passionate about project XYZ, than if you have to miss your hobbies to make room for project XYZ.



The sooner you identify this – the better for everyone. Forensic networking will give you the answer to your question  COULD XYZ POTENTIALLY BE A NON-PROSPECT? This might be due to strong loyalty to their current supplier, a long-standing gentleman’s agreement, and a less than obvious connection in the supply chain.

Quick story, I have a wonderful web designer, who has created many websites for me over the last 15 years. He is patient, speaks in everyday language, is up with trends that work and those that are faulty when it comes to web traffic, is affordable and always does a great job for anyone I refer to him. I was recently at a business networking breakfast presentation with at least five other potential web designers, one of who approached me at the start of the breakfast and told me all the things he could do to improve my websites. And when I repeatedly said, that I was a non-prospect – he didn’t get it – he just went on and on about what he wanted to do and what it would cost. Now I have no doubt that he may have some new ideas, and he could be very good – but I am loyal to many of my suppliers, especially my web designer. I want to work with people that I know are professional, affordable, delivery on time, tell you if you are about to waste money on something that won’t work, are up to speed on trends in the marketplace and those that are overnight wonders and those worth investing in. And most importantly, will always do a great job for the people you refer to them. They call it loyalty and there is still a lot of loyalty in the marketplace today.

In your forensic research when you find out who is XYZ’s current provider, a critical question to ask is of course, how long have they been supplying XYZ, If its more than 10 years, they may have a serious case of loyalty happening and are potentially a non-prospect. Of course, if you never ask the question, the answer is always no. But don’t be disheartened if you get beaten by loyalty, maybe some of your forensic networking time needs to be allocated to researching what you would have to do to get your current clients to all be advocates! Just a thought!

 6. Final   question – you need to ask yourself



 And sometimes when you finally get that XYZ client, then the work really starts. But your research helps you build your connections with XYZ’s key players and as you nurture those contacts you build your internal XYZ web and it becomes stronger and stronger every month. You stand out from your competitors because you try to build XYZ’s company as well as your own. Where possible you:

* Give  them regular referrals

* Invite  them to networking events where they can meet potential clients

* Connect them with some of your current advocates for mutual connections

* Keep  clear communication lines happening

* Make  sure that they keep seeing you rather than the offsider you offload their  work to – this is important. Maybe you don’t make the time for face to  face, but working your database and sending them snippets of relevant  information by text, email or snail mail, keeps you in their face. In time  your offsider will have the trust with them that you have, but initially it takes time.

  • Exceed  their expectations with the service you provide – they expect great – you aim to exceed greed every time.
  • If  you stuff up ever, fix it immediately – and offer compensation if  possible.

Another quick story to finish this blog. I recently gave a presentation to a large organization with over 20,000 Australian employees. For this specific event, there were 90 people in the room and the session was very well received. I included complimentary quality 12 page handouts, so they had something to take away, gave prizes of books and brilliant ideas books for audience participation, spent the entire day at the exhibition they had, so that I had lots of really up to date information and could tie in the previous speakers links. And I invested a lot of time and money into the presentation to make sure it really hit the mark the client had identified in our briefing.

At the end of the presentation we did a lucky book prize draw for the written evaluations, this ensured that everyone did write an evaluation. As I sat with the client and went through each evaluation, there ended up being 86 excellent, 3 very goods and 1 good – there is always one you don’t reach! I was very impressed with the evaluations and asked the client if they had any further comments. (I was wearing a 3 piece suit with some silver sparkly shoes – and have worn them many times and always received compliments for the outfit).

“Those shoes are definitely not corporate Robyn and I suggest you don’t wear the in Sydney next week for our next session. They will not be appropriate. And you repeated that networking phrase twice in the one hour session – you probably need only make the point once.”

To say I was surprised was an understatement – I thanked her for her feedback and excused myself to catch a taxi to the airport. I let her shoe comment bug me for a day or two, told everyone I came in contact with about the it and the fact they she didn’t even say the presentation was good – even though 86 people thought it was excellent. And then when I started to write this blog, I realised that big clients have big expectations –


  That’s why they pay you a high fee. It is almost an expected given that you will do an above average job. This last big client, was no different to the client I described at the start of the chapter. Forensic networking will give you the clues- but you still have to exceed their expectations – every time.